Snail Sex
Snail Sex is the 2nd s2 episode of Back To Squidville, which aired September 28th, 2019. Cast * Squidward * Tom * Cashier * Snellie (first appearance since season 1 because im a lazy piece of shit) * Gary (debut) * Stevie (debut) Plot Snellie gives birth to quintuplets, which quickly start to overwhelm Squidward. Transcript The episode begins with Snellie waking up from a nap. She slithers up to her food bowl and starts eating. While she's eating, she's admiring a picture of Gary. Squidward walks downstairs and starts petting Snellie, but Snellie eats the picture of Gary so Squidward doesn't notice. "You want out, girl," asks Squidward, and Snellie rushes to the door as fast as she can. "Ok, Snellie, you can go out," says Squidward, as he opens the door. He nearly trips when Snellie runs outside faster than he can see. "I wonder why she's always so excited to go outside," says Squidward. "Time to masturbate," he says as he walks off. Cut to the outside, where Snellie is daydreaming of Gary. She goes around the corner, and Gary is there, waiting for her. Snellie runs up to Gary and kisses him on the spot, which makes gary blush. They start chatting for a bit. After a While, Gary looks both ways cautiously, and whispers something in Snellie's ear. Snellie at first is shocked at this sudden question, but soon is completely on board with the idea. Gary directs Snellie to behind a dumpster, and they cautiously go behind it. Gary and Snellie both begin to perform an act which i cannot disclose because of FANDOM's ToU (which should be abolished, fuck the tou) (1 month later) Cut back to Squidward's house, where Squidward lets Snellie in. Snellie is slow and groans in pain as she slithers inside. "What's wrong, Snellie," Squidward asks. Snellie falls on her side and groans. "Snellie, we need to get you to the doctor!" says Squidward as he picks Snellie up and runs out the door. Tom walks in, saying "Hi squi- damnit, I'm late again. Oh well, i guess I'll just watch the porno channel," and he sits down to turn it on. Cut to Squidward in the snail hospital with a snail doctor. "Is my Snellie ok," asks Squidward. "Uh, well," the doctor begins, "she's pregnant." This catches Squidward wildly off guard. "WHAT?!," he screams. "Yeah, your snail must've been laid recently," says the Doctor. Snellie smiles suggestively. "But by who?!," asks Squidward. "How the fuck would i know," replies the doctor, as he walks off. Cut to Squidward driving to his house. "Snellie, have you been fucking anyone," Squidward asks. Snellie meows. "Forgot, you're a snail," replies Squidward. "I wonder how long it'll be until you give birth," Squidward asks while looking at Snellie. However, he loses focus on the road so he crashes his car into his house. "That's going to be expensive," he says. Cut to Squidward walking inside his house. "Where've you been," asks Tom, while quickly taking his hand off his dick. "I was at the snail doctors. Snellie's pregnant," replies Squidward. Tom falls backwards in his chair. "When is she giving birth," he asks. "I don't know, the doctor was jacking off in the corner, so I just left," replies Squidward. Snellie starts to groan very loudly, and Squidward worriedly walks up to her. Snellie groans even more, and before Squidward could react, she has 5 children come out of her. Tom faints in shock. "Quintuplets?!" says Squidward in shock. "I thought you'd only have 1!" Squidward looks at the babies and panickley puts them in a box. "I'll keep them in here before i give them away," he says. "Now it's time to run to the store to get all the shit I'll need." Cut to Squidward at the store, going up to the manager putting 5 bottles, bowls and snail food cans on the counter. The cashier says "that'll be $59.90," and Squidward replies "WHAT?! That is COMPLETE FUCKING BULLSHIT!" "Hey, i dont mark the prices. Now pay up or put those back," says the cashier. Squidward says "Uh… I'll pay you in sex." Cut to Squidward walking inside his house with a grocery bag and a pleasured face. "Welcome back, Squi- er, there's a stain on your pants," Tom says to Squidward.. "Oh, I know," Squidward says back. Squidward walks to his table and plops the grocery bag down and puts the snail food in the 5 bowls. He sets them on the ground and Snellie's children come up to eat it. "Aw, aren't they adorab-" begins Squidward, until he realises one of them pissed on the floor. "GOD FUCKING DAMNIT! I JUST CLEANED THAT," he shouts in complete anger. This scares the babies, so they all piss on the floor in sync. Squidward becomes red in anger. He picks up the snails are tries to throw them out the window, but Tom stops him before he can. "At least it'll get gradually better overtime," Squidward says. (The next day) Squidward's house is in total dismay. There is trash everywhere, and Squidward has bags in his eyes. Tom walks downstairs saying "Morning, Squid," and pours a bowl of cereal, but realises the state his house is in. "Squidward, what the fuck happened to your house," remarks Tom. "Oh, Hi, Tom," Squidward drowsingly says, "I just figured id stay up all night and take care of these snail babies." "But look at this place," Tom says. "It's fine," says Squidward. Tom takes a glance around the house and says, "this will cost a lot to have fixed." "I already wasted all my money on these bastards," says Squidward, "I couldn't possibly pay to have my house fixed." Tom grabs the box with the snails and says "we need to put these up for adoption." Squidward quickly grabs the box back and says "we can't possibly do that! No one would take all 5 of them." "Well, keep one of them," says Tom. "Ok, i guess, but we should wait a little while longer before we put them up for adoption," says Squidward. (A little while longer) Tom walks downstairs and says "that was a good shower," but he sees the house is in even more of a mess than before. "WHAT THE HELL," screams Tom. Squidward is pretty much fully asleep when he says "hi, Tom." "IT'S BEEN 30 MINUTES, HOW DID THIS HAPPEN?!" but Squidward is asleep. He wakes up after Tom punches him in the face and says "oh hi tom." "How did the house get worse than before? It's been 30 minutes," Tom yells. "It isnt that bad," Squidward says, before tripping on a dirty diaper. Tom looks down and realises the floor is covered in shit-filled diapers. "Why are these on the floor," tom says. "Oh, we ran out of garbage cans and cereal boxes." Tom runs up to the bathroom to throw up. He walks back downstairs and grabs the box of snails, saying "That's it, we're giving these away. Squidward tries to retrieve them back but is too tired. "Let me just keep 1," says Squidward. "Ok, fine," Tom says, picking a random snail up and walks out the door. "Aren't you a cutie," Squidward says, "I think I'll name you Stevie." Squidward tries to walk but trips on a diaper. "I gotta clean this fucking house," he says. Snellie slithers in and meows. "Oh, hi snellie. Meet stevie," Squidward says, showing Snellie Stevie. Squidward puts Stevie on Snellie's back and she slithers off. Squidward goes "aaww" but trips on a diaper again. Trivia * The title of the episode is a parody of Water Sex. * This is Snellie's first appearance since season 1. Category:Episodes written by Locknloaded23 Category:Episodes Category:Episode Transcripts Category:Transcripts Category:2019 Category:2019 Episodes Category:2019 Transcripts Category:Back to Squidville Category:Locknloaded23 Category:Controversial pages